Week 1 Bottom 10 – Things go south quickly for Clemson

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Inspirational considered the week:

I can not see the long run however I do know it is coming quick
It isn’t that arduous to wind up knee deep up to now
It is come lots of Mondays
Because the cellphone sales space that first evening
Via years and miles and tears and smiles
I need to get it proper
From the underside of my coronary heart
Off the coast of Carolina
After one or two false begins
I consider we discovered our stride

— “The Coast of Carolina,” Jimmy Buffett

Right here at Backside 10 Headquarters, positioned on the base of the rubbish chute the place Pat McAfee throws away all the sleeves that he cuts off his shirts, we entered Week 1 with our eyes targeted on the horizon forward and our palms firmly wrapped across the ship’s wheel because the wind of precise soccer crammed our sails and pushed into the season. With fins to the left, fins to the correct, as a result of sure, it has been fairly a summer time with rent-a-cars and westbound trains, and … OK, full disclosure, we do not hearken to lots of Jimmy Buffett in our HQ. We’re extra of a hopeful marching band and drumline descending into a tragic nation breakup tune type of workplace.

However Saturday morning, as I took the stage to co-host “Marty & McGee” from Nashville, Tennessee, constructed squarely within the heart of Decrease Broadway, a person in a parrot-covered shirt was asleep on the sidewalk outdoors Buffett’s Margaritaville. He out of the blue jumped up, ran over to the railing and mentioned, “McGee, Jimmy is lifeless, and I do not really feel so good myself. The final time I noticed him was right here in Nashville, and that very same weekend, I watched Vanderbilt lose by 100 factors to South Carolina. Jimmy liked South Carolina. Not the staff. The state. It is unhappy.” And he went again to sleep.

On the time, I laughed it off. Then, as I thought of it extra, I used to be unhappy too. Jimmy Buffett was certainly gone. And he did certainly love South Carolina. He wrote songs about South Carolina. He sailed off the coast of South Carolina. He had performed so many sellouts throughout South Carolina. Later that evening, in Charlotte, North Carolina, I watched South Carolina quarterback Spencer Rattler spend the night operating for his life because the Gamecocks misplaced to UNC 31-17. Throughout a second-half timeout, the PA system began blasting “Margaritaville” because the packed stadium sang alongside.

One other man in a beachy button-down shirt, far more sober than the primary — not less than at that time within the night — tapped his baseball cap with a Gamecocks brand and mentioned, “They’re taking part in the fallacious tune.” He pointed to Rattler, on the bench as his beleaguered O-line awkwardly sat subsequent to him, silent and embarrassed. “They need to be taking part in, ‘No person Speaks to the Captain No Extra.'”

With apologies to the Oldest Surfer on the Seaside, the Son of a Son of a Sailor and Steve Harvey, this is the 2023 Week 1 Backside 10.

1. Arkansaw State Fightin’ Butches (0-1)

After permitting Oklahoma to squeak by 73-0, Purple Wolves coach Butch Jones mentioned, “I believed they out-athleted us.” He isn’t fallacious. His staff additionally was outscored, outrushed, outpassed and out-ed because the runaway early favourite to take dwelling the Backside 10 title.

2. #Kentergy (0-1)

The Golden Flashes opened their season by taking place to UCF. Like, actually. They misplaced 56-6 and had the 35-point unfold lined sooner than my brother-in-law slathering Nation Crock and strawberry jelly on a home made biscuit. Now they go to Arkansaw Not Arkansaw State, the place they’re a 38-point underdog and the place head hog Sam Pittman most likely simply ate a kind of similar biscuits. Or six.

3. North by Northworstern (0-1)

when Northwestern put this 2023 schedule collectively, they thought, “Are you kidding? We get In-A-Rut-gers Week 1 after which Dook Week 3?” Effectively, they only received Sonny-at-the-toll-booth’ed in New Jersey, 24-7, whereas Duke did the identical to Clemson, 28-7.

4. No-Braska (0-1)

Those self same conversations had been seemingly taking place in Lincoln, the place the Cornhuskers noticed season-opening journeys to Minnesota and Colorado and thought, “Hey, this is not unhealthy. We practically beat the Gophers final 12 months, and the Buffaloes are the defending Backside 10 champions!” Then the Cornhuskers blew a second-half lead and misplaced to Minnesota, identical to final 12 months, and the Buffs are led by Deion Sanders, who spent Week 1 being anointed as the best coach within the historical past of soccer.

5. The Palm(within the face)etto State

There are three FBS colleges within the state of South Carolina — Coastal Carolina, South Carolina and Clemson — and so they all misplaced over the weekend. There are 5 FCS colleges within the state of South Carolina. They went 2-3, however a kind of wins was by Charleston Southern over North Greenville, one of many Palmetto State’s seven Division II colleges — which went 3-4 over the weekend, together with in a head-to-head matchup. So your remaining report for the Sandlapper colleges was 5-10, with two of these wins coming head-to-head, capped by Clemson’s orange crush of a loss at Duke. I instantly texted my finest pal from highschool, now a extremely adorned highschool historical past trainer in Lexington, South Carolina, to verify the next tweet (or X or no matter we’re calling it) was OK. He hung up on me. He is a South Carolina alum. #toosoon

6. San No-sé State (0-2)

A lot is being made from the truth that the ragtag fugitive fleet referred to as the Pac-12, quickly to be the 2Pac, has but to lose a recreation. It hasn’t damage that two of the league’s finest groups have performed San José State, with USC and Caleb Williams profitable the Trojan-Spartan Struggle 56-28 and Oregon State rolling 42-17. The magically and creepily correct FPI tells us the Spartans needs to be 1-4 getting into mid-October after they go to …

7. Whew Mexico (0-1)

The No-Bos opened the season with a brutal but financially worthwhile journey to Faculty Station, Texas, the place they surrendered so many factors and yards that they requested new A&M offensive coordinator Bobby Petrino if they may borrow his neck brace for his or her journey again to Albuquerque. After internet hosting Tennessee Tech in Week 2, the No-Bos stay at College Stadium to welcome in …

8. Whew Mexico State (1-1)

The Different Aggies shocked the Week 0 world after they had been run over by the preseason prime/bottom-ranked UMess Minutemen like they had been the Redcoats retreating on the street again to Boston. Positive, the Different Aggies rebounded with a 58-21 win over the FCS Western Illinois Leathernecks. However now they make a pilgrimage to Jamey Chadwell’s Liberty earlier than heading up Interstate 25 to go to the No-Bos — one week earlier than touring to present 0-2 Huh-Why-Yuh.

9. My Hammy of Ohio (0-1)

Regardless of dropping 38-3 to the Hurricanes within the Battle of My-Hammys, the RedHawks are a landing favourite this weekend as — talking of UMass — they make the journey east to face …

10. UMess (1-1)

Sure, our outdated associates from the Revolutionary Struggle reenactment camp began the 12 months 1-0, however they adopted their triumph on Lexington Inexperienced with a Bunker Hill-like effort on The Plains, blindsided 59-14 by Hugh Freeze and Auburn. After a pair of #MACtion dates with My Hammy of Ohio and Japanese not Western Michigan, UMass closes out September with visits from Whew Mexico and … sure … look ahead to it … that is superior … full circle second … Arkansaw State! Week 0 glory be damned; all Backside 10 roads nonetheless run by Massachusetts. And like a salt and brine combine on the Mass Turnpike, it may rust out the undercarriage of the 2023 school soccer season.

Ready Checklist: Huh-Why-Yuh, LS-Who, Flori-duh, No-vada, Central Not Western or Japanese Michigan, Muddled Tennessee State, TC-Who Simply Performed For The Natty And Then Misplaced To The Backside 10 Champs?

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